JennéArticles

JennéArticles
	Changing for Good Solving one of life’s biggest mysteries The Bermuda triangle Bigfoot Wayne Newton’s appeal Why some people change and some don’t is right up there with some of life’s greatest mysteries. Most of us have encountered at least one person who has cracked the code and made lasting, meaningful change in his or her life. Unfortunately, we’ve encountered many more who– despite repeated attempts – have failed to change anything. They are acting the same way, walking the same path, pursuing the same dead-end goals they were a year ago. Or ten years ago. Or twenty. It’s true, change isn’t easy. And it doesn’t happen overnight but it can happen. There is no reason you have to act the way you did yesterday. What does it take to change? Three things - Reason, Room and Reinforcement Reason It makes sense, doesn’t it? Why would anyone change without a reason? Change is hard. None of us would pursue something so difficult without a good reason. Each time we decide to change, it is because we are no longer content with what we have. Last week I rearranged my living room. Why? Because the old layout bored me. Last month
	I altered a business strategy. Why? I didn’t like the results I was getting from the old methods. A few moments ago I edited this article. Why? I thought it was too long – and it was! The point? Change is powered by discontentment. Therefore, discontentment should motivate you to change. Few people, however, make the connection. Even though they are discontent with the results from their behaviors and methods, they refuse to look inward to see what they can change. The old blowhard keeps screaming at subordinates. The young executive keeps grabbing lunch and dinner on the go despite the negative impact on his health. Your business continues to lose clients because of a lack of strategic focus or direction. Once your behaviors are no longer getting you what you want, it is time to change. There’s your reason. Room The reality is, however, that reason alone won’t get you the change you are seeking. After all, I’m sure you can think of a hundred reasons you could have – and perhaps should have – changed already. But you didn’t. Why? Because change also requires space and time. A few years ago I noticed anytime I was asking my step-daughter, then 6, to make a change I stayed right on top of her until she did. For example, I’d ask her to finish her supper and then hover until she did. Or I’d ask her to stop whining and then stay in her face and expect her to speak like a little adult. Or I’d tell her to change her behavior and then squat down into her personal space and expect an immediate difference. It rarely worked. More times than not I’d find myself exposed to the exact same behavior. What I was doing, was not working. When I thought about it I realized how difficult it must be for her to make a change in her behavior with me RIGHT THERE in her face. Instead, I began giving her some space and time to make a change. I’d tell her I expected her to speak without whining and then I’d leave the room for a few moments. An amazing thing happened, when I gave her some breathing space, she was more likely to make a change.




	We all need time to process, to adjust. Asking someone – at any age – to change and change immediately is unrealistic. This is doubly true in business. Time and again I’ve seen leaders make changes and expect immediate results. The truth? Lasting change takes time. It won’t happen overnight. Becoming frustrated and insistent won’t help. Instead, give yourself and those around you some room. Reinforcement I live in an old house. The floors in my house have started to sag. This isn’t unusual and can be fixed fairly easily. A few cranks of a well-placed jack in the basement will level my floors right out. This change, however, will never last. Once the jack is gone, the floor will go back to sagging. Unless, that is, the newly jacked floor is reinforced in some way. People are no different than my floor. Often people find a way to make a change – a jack of sorts. They want to lose weight, so they start to exercise. They want to be a better spouse, so they go to counseling. They want to grow their business so they make some staffing cuts and/or additions. But these changes won’t last unless they are reinforced in some way. If you want to make a lasting change, you have to find an appropriate reinforcement. One of the most powerful forms of reinforcement is accountability. Long after the thrill of a new change is gone, accountability from an outside party lasts. Discontentment gets you started on the change path but accountability keeps you going. Making a personal change? Ask a trusted friend to meet with you weekly to check your progress. Create a list of tough questions he or she will ask you at each meeting. Ask yourself how you want your accountability partner to respond if you begin to fall short. If you want to change, and you want that change to last, find someone who will ask the tough questions and hold your feet to the fire when needed. Making a change in your business? Hire an outside consultant to come alongside. Give that consultant the vision for what you are trying to accomplish, then allow him or her to ask the hard questions. Sign a contract up front for this accountability – it’s true once money is on the line, you and your staff may just be more likely to take it seriously. What makes a good accountability partner? Check the box below. Bottom line, accountability in any form increases your chances for success. Apply that reinforcement to a powerful reason and some room and you just may find yourself making that needed change – for good. click to contact Jenné about making changes in your business or life.
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